Quip Show

I once read a biography of Abraham Lincoln, this is what I have to show for it.

Yo it’s Abe Lincoln on the microphone,

A Kentucky log cabin’s where I called my home,

Livin’ the simple life like my man Tom Sawyer,

One day I said, fuck that, I should be a lawyer,

Moved it to Springfield, I was their biggest resident,

Soon enough they came and asked if I would be the president,

Got to the White House and it was a bore,

I just couldn’t wait for the goddamn Civil War,

A house divided, cannot stand,

With malice toward none I ruled the land,

A house divided, cannot stand,

With malice toward none I ruled the land,

When it started, McClellan, was my general, see,

Until ‘64; when that bastard ran against me,

But come November, yo, I swatted him like a gnat,

Then sent in that drunk, Ulysses S. Grant,

The south did fall, and it was mess,

Good thing I spit fire with my Gettysburg address.

When it was over I should have gone to bed,

Instead some Reb sympathizer shot me in the head,

People say saving the Union is something to laud,

They should try dealing with that lunatic, Mary Todd

A house divided cannot stand,

With malice toward none I ruled the land,

A house divided cannot stand,