This morning I was filled with a profound sense of personal amusement when I discovered that I can do a pretty decent Neil Diamond impression. Later, I was filled with a slightly less profound sense of personal disappointment when I discovered I can only do my Neil Diamond impression to the tune of Sweet Caroline. However, I persevered and spent the better part of the morning telling my wife, “I like clementines, ba ba ba, will you get some at the store?”

My wife, for her part, was profoundly not amused.